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Showing posts from October, 2015

Brother in the house

>grandma passes
>leaves us her house
>I’m the younger brother out of 3
>I decide to move into the house and take over responsibilities for it
>been living there a year upgrading house as much as possible
>girlfriend moved in as well
>all of the sudden parents tell me my older brother is moving in too
>he has a part time job making $9 an hour
>starts to wreck the place up
>trash everywhere
>I work 10-12 hour days, 6 days a week
>no time to come home and spend hours cleaning

Kevin's mom

>3 years ago
>just turned 18
>decide to legally buy my first hard alcohol (europe)
>friend and I went to local booze store, bought some bacardi, vodka, etc. and some stuff to mix with
>sit on a bench in front of store and start drinking
>theres a sex shop on the other side of the street
>"hey anon, is that kevins mom?"
>"i think so"
>kevin was a kissless virgin beta friend. well more half of a friend
>kevins mom enters sex store
>we were shocked and couldnt believe that


>about 13 or 14 years ago
>be me about 6 or 7, in 1st grade I think
>have best friend from kinder
>we will call him "Gee" for story sake
>play at his house always
>super cool fort his dad built
>goes up like 'two stories'
>has this underneath area too
>bushes and shit grow around the base
>shit was like a Pokémon secret base
>one day I go over to hang out
>Gee takes me to treehouse
>"I wanna show you something"

Shit, man!

>be me
>last month of highschool
>at this time most of the time we didn't do school work anymore, we just chilled with the teachers or with ourselves as long as we didn't broke something
>a really slow day
>I woke up from a nap I took on the desk
>decided to go to the school yard
>suddendly a faint voice catches my attention
>It's Robin
>full name Robinson, a cool short guy, was a bro most of the time, there he was sitting on his desk
>"what's up Robin?"

The bully and my sister

>back in HS this guy used to beat me up every time he saw me
>he was tall, nice face, parents had money etc
>teachers were lazy and pretended not to see
>at most theyd yell "stop fighting" or "quiet down back there"
>if I told the teachers, he would run up behind me and tell the teacher were just playing and nothing would come of it
>sometimes when he was bored he would tell one of his GFs to go to the teachers and tell them I hit them just for laughs, and i would always get into trouble and no one would believe me
>became a shut in NEET after

Another fuckup

Okay /b/ I fucked up hard.

>be 15-16
>in high school
>friends in a shitty two-person startup band
>am involved and kind of the roadie
>looking for vocalist
>one of drummers and guitarists kind of friends fits the bill
>she's a really shy and awkward girl who has a lot of social anxieties because she lived with her mom's rapist for years and then her abusive shit dad for years.
>she's really cool and we start hanging out over skype
>develop a crush


I have shit parenting and feminists combined.
>be me
>at Wal-Mart to get Pringles and other shit
>parents looking for their kid
>they ask me if they've seen the kid
>i didn't but i be the beta fuck i am and say i will look
>go near the toy aisle
>kids like toys, right?
>that isle is also coincidentally near the aisle that sells bicycles
>intercoms suddenly comes on
>this fucking kid stole a bike and is riding it in the store
>they probably got this

Doge is kill

Gunna start a feel thread cuz old one is dying and I want to share a story.

>Be me
>14 years old
>Loner beta, could be alpha if i tried but hated everyone so didn't
>Drinking away any feelings I could possible have every single night
>Literally .6 GPA
>Hating everything and everyone. Mostly myself for being such a fucking failure though.
>Basically only thing I enjoy now is hanging out with my dog, a yellow lab husky mix.
>Get on anti depressants, they don't do shit, keep drinking every night for like 2 years.


Alright /b/ this shit happened to me one time and I thought it would make a semi-not retarded greentext so here we go mane

>be me retarded and 16
>New York fag so have to wait six months for license
>hanging out with friend after school
>ride bikes around the neighborhood down the street
>looking for somewhere to smoke
>find one of those shitty suburban parks meant for toddlers and autistic kids
>figure we could hide out and smoke in that tubular slide thing
>go in and start packin bowl

It's a cruel world

I'm here to tell my story, just want to get rid of it somewhere
> Be me
> Be 18 yrs old
> fail school hard, but big company acknowledges my skills
> Work there for three months, big company breaks down
> move to South America, cus fck it
> learn how to pick up girls there and have the time of my life
> learn spanish
> use a lot of cocaine cus it's so damn cheap here
> crazy shit happens that i've only seen in the movies, gangbangs, not sleeping a week on coke and other drugs, drunk all the time

Grandpa's flag

>be me.
>24 years old, scrawny beta-fag.
>have old ass grandpa, 92 years old, now.
>I had barely known him up until this point, our family just left him in a home to rot.
>I thought it was really sad, because according to my dad he had fought in world war 2.
>asked him what theater of the war he fought in.
>dad just glanced around uneasily and didn't say anything.
>decide to go visit him.
>go to the nursing home, check in at the front desk and head up to his room.
>knock on his door, uneasy.

Poor bastard

>super sensitive as a child
>really empathetic, always believe whatever anyone tells me, always want to help out
>some people take advantage of that and rip me off
>breakdown and cry, turns into big thing
>like 6 or something
>start not trusting people, develop possession issues
>still have friends, just don't trust them fully
>move a couple times
>become really introverted, read a lot
>history buff is born
>love hearing about men like Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, Napoleon Bonaparte
>people who in their lifetimes went from being footnotes at best to world-changing titans
>admire them

Drifting apart

>> One of the closest friends I've ever had in my life. Told him every secret of my life and vice versa. Hanged out all the time, practically like brothers. My family loved him.
>> Moves away. We keep in contact but slowly but surely we drift away.
>> He makes new friends and forgets about me.
>> I try to reconnect with him but eventually he just ignores me so I just try to move on.
>> Junior of highschool, he tries to reconnect with me.
>> Shocked but excited, and start talking again.
>> Wasn't the same, and he was back with his old crowd.
>> Stopped talking again.

Old pizza and chocolate milk

>Be me, 19 yrs of age
>At College to have a co-op meeting
>Went to eat pizza since I'm as hungry as a goddamn ethiopian on a fasting diet
>notice immigrant is working there
>he suggested that I should try the spicy pizza he made but looks a day old
>decide to buy three slices, two jizz coloured dips and chocolate milk
>sitting in cafeteria devouring everything
>get a bad case of niggeritis
>sleep, wake up, go to meeting
>stomach rumbles but ignore it

Why friends are important

>be me 18 tall and slender
>constantly bullied by 3 jock assholes
>miss a lot of class because afraid of coming to school
>failing 2 core classes
>nearing graduation
>call from administration
>can't graduate unless I pass those
>forced to go to school
>mom won't listen
>dad gave up on me , Wont talk to me
>on edge every time I walk to my next class, lunch etc.
>jock assholes confront me at lunch, me and my friend usually sit outside in the commons so there are not a lot of cameras
>friend witnesses me get beat senseless

Sorry, dad!

>senior year
>hitting up a bunch of graduation parties
>I like going to parties, usually attend one every other day
>parents are strict Christians
>I tell them that there isn't alcohol or drugs at the parties I go to
>lies obviously
>go to a kid named Devon's grad party
>he's rich as fuck, everyone goes
>beer, weed, girls, heaven
>get pretty hammered, remember that I have to drive home though
>start taking it easy on the booze
>that's when I get a phone call

Slacker's luck

This one’s real I swear to Cthulhu

>be me
> be 17
> live in Colorado
> be senior in junior lit class
>only class I ever failed in high school
>experienced smoker but damn I hadn't been this high since nam
>show up to class early the only time that year
>8/10 teacher shows up
>"remember class we have group presentations today"
> group presentations?
>oh fuck.jpg

A story from Romania bro

hello there /b/, i have a story to share, its kinda long, so beare with me if i take pauses.

>i was born in Romania
>mother left me when i was born and no sign of father, so i never had a family.
>childhood lived in a orphanage in a mountain city (Brasov)
>orphanage life was great, really, 10/10
>kind, nice and lovely people
>nice kids, great rooms
>and we got presents on ocasions.
>i mean, it was top tier man.
>thought i will work there after i hit 18.


Bullying stops here

Okay guys, I fucked up badly, i think. I need your help.
>Be me
>Get bullied by some guys
>Have break
>We have a school garden, that has some gardening equipment, I like to spend my time there, Idk, I just like plants n shit
>At the time, I dug a bit with a shovel
>It's a good, heavy shovel;digging with it has trained my arms
>Then, Fucktard and his friends come by
>They start bullying me as usual
>Then, Fucktard shouts:"I bet he only is so much into his Plant shit, because he has no girlfriend. I think he even fucks his plants at night. "Then, he kicks out a beautiful rose, I planted some time earlier
>All the rage and hatred towards him comes up, also, my girlfriend left me the earlier day, so I was extra sensible
>I snap
>I turn around
>He looks at me and says :" LOL what you gonna do? " (He's a lot stronger than me)
>I swing the shovel, with full power.
>I hit him right on his head.
>He passes out.

Soap opera sex

>be 18
>freshman at uni of Nebraska
>one Friday night after a house party
>this girl and I stumbling drunk back to my dorm
>know this girl has a boyfriend
>told me she broke up with him earlier that afternoon
>have sex, lose virginity
>one week later
>run into her ex-boyfriend at his frat's party
>never met him before but know who he is
>casually start talking with him
>"hey dude, weren't you dating Shannon?"

Mom and grandma

>be me
>be 2008
>my mom and her mom were fighting
>Grandma said mom disappointed her, because she had me without getting married, now my dad walked out of there he has a wife
>My mom supported me on her own, she didn't nobody, times were rough tho, for a while we either wouldn't eat, or the neighbor would bring some food
>anyway my mom said f*ck you don't ever talk to me, and they didn't for a few years 4-5 i think
>back to 08 grandma is sick for a year now, mom doesn't want to go
>I convince her, "mom grandma has cancer, she doesn't have a lot of time let's just go, i know you will feel awful later"

Fight fight fight

>be me
>failed last year of school because government examinations are wut
>father disowns me
>(not asian)
>wants me to pay my way in school
>get job to pay my way
>father gets mad i stay out way too late because work
>kicks me out of house
>have to rent room in shared apartment
>no longer see friends because every time I do all i see is pity in their eyes and them thinking less of me
>girl i thought was gf who i made out with on occasion suddenly just wanted to be friends

Katie, Katie

>be me, senior year of high school
>meet 8/10 grill, we'll call her Katie
>always been kind of the outcast
>see her at senior sendaway
>decide, hey , f*ck it I’m gonna not be beta this time
>approach her with the stupidest look on my face
>"oh hey anon" she says cheerfully
>"uhhh hi"
>what have i done
>"I can’t believe were actually graduating!" she says as she gives me a friendly hug
>" i guess so" i say

Better than heroin

>be me
>eating Doritos
>meandering about
>every so often taking a swig of some righteous Mountain Dew
>watching Trainspotting for the 10th time
>my fascination with heroin was peaked
>I'm gonna do it
>only problem is that I don't know where to get heroin
>I call 5 people asking for heroin
>they all call me a fag
>I can't get heroin

Anon’s exciting trip to the UK

>be 17
>be on education trip to UK
>me and a friend are the only guys on the trip, nothing else but tumblr chicks
>last night of trip, in London
>we stayed in college apartments
>friend and i were chilling in our room
>he's hungry
>so am I
>decide to look for a vending machine on ground floor
> get into elevator
>it's friday night
>two drunk 8/10 qt 3.14s in elevator

Disaster sex

>be 17, virgin in high school
>this 5/10 has a major crush on me and I have no idea
>hanging out with group of friends at end of day, she's there, don't talk to her
>go home
>halfway home realize there's some stuff missing from my bag
>get a call from her, "anon, I have your things"
>get pissed, yell at her, she offers to bring them over to my place
>I'm home alone, tell her fine
>she shows up and I don't let her come in
>she gives me my stuff, I ask her why the hell she took it in the first place
>"I wanted an excuse to come over here"

Stealing on Xanax

>be me
>at winn dixie
>for some reason love to steal on xanax
>especially food
>go to meat section
>"hey can i get a 1/2 pound of shrimp, 3/4 mahi mahi, and 1/2 pound of pork chops"
>walking up to counter looking obvious as hell but most stores don't get involved unless they directly see you putting it in your pockets/waistband
>at cash register now checking out
>(always grabbed a few things like gum and other cheap things to look less suspicious)
i know i know. implying some barred out idiot doesn’t always look suspicious

Ghetto hamster

>be me
>I did do a lot of drugs
>sold weed, xanax and pain killers
>with kind of ghetto friend at his really ghetto friends house
>some wigger kid but they have more to prove so was nervous
>he didn't seem to like me for some reason
>probably cause I was suburban normalfag
>Wigger says he going to the store
>his babymomma still chilling there and says "anon will you get a blunt from upstairs?"

I’d like him to Bane me

>Be me
>17 at the time
>Huge fan of superheros, going to go see The Dark Knight Rises for the first time.
>I didn't really care for Batman, so much as I did for the villain. I wanted to see how they were going to create Bane's character in this.
>Plane scene happens, suddenly feel a little bit weird.
>oh no
>What is happening?
>Ignore how my underwear just got soaked.
>I am not attracted to someone with a f*cking tube on his mouth.
>I am not attracted to someone with a f*cking tube on his mouth.

The opossum

What was your lowest point, /b/?
Here is mine:
> went for a jog two days ago
>find a barely alive, mangy opossum on the ground
> in my delusional mind decide to "save" her
> bring her home, cats are hiding in corners unable to comprehend what just happened, and why this smelly thing is in the middle of the room.
>search the net obsessively, read everything about opossums. Decide that she is playing opossum because she is scared/was attacked. Opossum cannot stand, mouth open, cannot move.
> 4 hours pass by. No change
>Even more determined to "save her"

Dad vs. neighbor

>be in high school
>still living with parents
>dad owns his own business
>works sixty hours a week to ensure it's run properly
>makes him kind of cranky
>still has to do yard work every other weekend
>cuts the grass
>never bothers raking afterwards, he's worked enough
>comes inside to watch Three Stooges re-runs and rest
>his only hours of joy and freedom
>knock on door

For glory!

Right, I need to get this off my chest /b/

>be me, part of a rich family.
>kind of a beta guy
>second eldest, my big bro's alpha, my sister's pretty and wild and some teenage sh*t, youngest still a baby.
>be invited in some important people party, bro drags entire family along. Parents keep showering him and lil' sister with praise like they're the sun or something.
>be feeling in one corner.
>Then I saw her.
>Damn, she's the most beautiful woman I ever seen
>like really.

Endless fight

>be me
>be 19
>about 12 or 13 years ago
>loved my dad more than life itself
>dad spends a lot of time away
>when i say "where do u go"
>he says "I’m getting ready to fight the bad guys"
>one day he wakes me up really early on a school morning
>makes me pancakes (fav food) and juice (fav drink) and watches the simpsons (fav show) with me
>mum works shifts
>she’s not there

Jesus vs. dongus

>be me
>be 15
>be forced by le mom to go to le church
>was In a very confused state religion wise, all I knew was that I wanna jack off and cuss but I wanna go to heaven
>be to confuse
>go to take the biggest dump in heavenly Father's house
>contemplating what I should do
>as I'm sitting there I get a hard on
>forget everything, ball is life, and I'm gonna bust one.
>everything going as planned
>hear door open

The skillet, Frenchman and the fucking fatties

>Camping inna national park
>Guns are allowed, so I bring my M6 Scout
>.22 Hornet/.410 shotgun, fuck yeah
>Find the most remote camping spot I can find, build a fire, and cook up a delicious dinner with my cast-iron skillet
>Skillet has been in my family for generations, my great-grandfather took it with him when he moved to the state in a covered wagon
>He went from horse-drawn carriages and black powder to fighter jets and a man on the moon in his lifetime; always awes me how much the world changed and how amazing it must have seemed to him
>Next day, some backpacker shows up and sets up camp in my clearing
>Didn't really want to share, but whatever

Drug induced psychosis

>Smoke pot fairly often
>Not every day, but at least 2-3 times a week.
>Generally helps ease my anxiety and calm me down.
>Tuesday my dealer didn't have my usual so we picked up something called "Sherbert" instead
>Go home, sit down with friends and light up.
>20-30mins go by
>Friends are baked and happy
>Still feel nothing so I take another hit
>The instant I took the hit, I felt everything
>something is wrong
>Apologize to friends, go in my room to stop the world from spinning/melting
>Start freaking out and feel terrified as I lay down in my bed

Revenge is real

Story 1

>be me
>in bed
>taking a quick nap
>get a text
>it's this girl I used to be friends with but stopped talking to a few years ago
>"hey doesn't your girlfriend work at....."
>"yeah why?"
>"oh because I think I saw her"
>go to roll back over
>get another text

Do numbers lie?

I have a story to tell...

>be me
>working entry level finance job
>friends with only one kid in office
>rest of people either idiots or just annoying
>office is mostly female
>don't remember why, but friend brings up this study in context
>international-adviser com/news/1018799/women-risky-investors-research-reveals
>"women are less risky investors than men 5 out of 6 times"
>office full of rotten indoctrinated fem vagina erupts

What a sloot

/b/ros i lost my chance to finally lose the V-card..... Long post ahead
>be me. 6'3 180 pound 6/10 average guy
> crush is this girl I’ve known my whole life since elementary school.
>she is a 8.5/10
>school year is coming to an end and we are heading off to college.
>she is going to university of Puget Sound in Washington
>one day we are texting and she said "sucks we never got to bang before we leave for college"
>that was 20 days before she was leaving so there was still plenty of time.
>one night she invites me to a bonfire down at this beach 30 minutes from our house

Burning hot Milf

Story time, happened 2 days ago:

>Be me, 18 years old, no job, need money for vidya and booze.
>7/10 milf down the road asks if I'll do yard work for moneys.
>Say yes because secretly want to tongue punch her fart box.
>Middle of summer, upper 90s hotter than Jabba's well insulated balls.
>She asks me to cut through all this tall dry grass and weeds, says it’s a "fire hazard".
>If only you knew milf, if only.
>lets me use her crappy weed whacker that pops and shoots smoke sometimes.

A reward for the hero

>meet girl in bar
>talked a little bit, but she didn't really seem interested
>find out we live near each other
>gave her my number, but didn't hear from her again until
>middle of the night get call from her about 2 or 3 months later
>she was walking home from the bars when she called
>she quickly explains who she is and says someone is following her
>asks if i can walk her home
>i say sure, why not and stay on the phone with her as i walk out of my apartment

Transsexual son and his father

>be me
>be 21
>still at home
>dad retired, mom works all day (she is cheating)
>I am mtf trans
>dad doesn't know
>I haven't told him
>i'm super skinny with small boobs and long hair
>usually wear hats and baggy clothes when I am at home to hide from dad
>he calls me champ, sport, tiger, and his lil man
>makes me watch football with him and we drink Leffe beer
>yesterday he left to go fix a friend’s car
>house to myself

Hell life

>be me
>be 6
>have problems paying attention on class
>get slapped on Ritalin
>doesn't work, get the dosage doubled to 10mg
>doesn't work, get put on Adderall
>get that dose doubled, starts messing with my brain at that age
>doctors start putting me on a ton of meds at once, over the years: Concerta, Rsperdal, Seroquel, Topomax, Lithium Bicarbonate, Ativan, Thorazine, Abilify, Zoloft, Clonidine, and about 10 more I can't remember
>made me act terribly
>no friends in school, teachers hated me, in and out of mental institutions and YDC
>tried killing myself 3 times but they all messed up when I was certain they would have worked

Don’t forgive a cheating partner

>be me
>a bit of a social outcast at school, minor bullying,
>still got some great friends, the best, but we're all weird
>never interested in girls til i was about 16
>best girl friend at primary school asks me out when I was 13
>never went on a single date with her,
>left me and stopped being friends
>wish I’d stayed in the friend zone
>leave school, get a sweet job
>date a girl for a month