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4chan sex

it's not my fault that i'm not popular tomoko just kill me now
Last weekend I shamed myself /b/

This is the most shameful thing I have done

>be 22
>girl on dating website tells me she is having a party
>invites me and tells me to bring a friend
>says her friends are willing and most likely we will get laid
>call my mate (lets name him anon2)
>tell him about the girl from the dating website
>tell him she pretty much garanteed us sex
>anon2: "bout time this happens"
>rock up to party at 9 with my mate
>3 girls and 1 random guy on dining table drinking

>whatever, start to drink and get drunk
>host is 4/10, 150, 5'2, not bad for a chubby girl
>2nd girl is taken, so out of the question
>3rd girl is 0/10 about 260 pounds, 5'4, blonde, moves like a beached wale
>start doing shots
>getting real drunk
>10.30pm, random car shows up with 2 guys, 4/10 (only bangable girl) gets into car
>damn it, there goes the only girl i wanted to rail
>leaving drunk me, my mate, 0/10 whale, drunk random guy, and non single girl on dining table drinking

>11pm and i am wasted blasting guitar hero
>non single girl comes to my mate and i
>my friend is in the bedroom and wants to play with one of you
>look at my mate
>he looks at me like are you crazy, lets go home
>i shake my head
>"I’m down"
>I stupidly say
>walk into bedroom
>0/10 fatty is laying on bed talking to her ex on the phone like a beached whale moaning for water
>grab whaley's phone and throw it away
>"dont worry about him, im here now"
>i say in a drunk voice
>start to take her clothes off
>know from previous experience fat girls posnay stank
>do not eat, finger instead to get her ready
>stumble looking for condom in jeans
>open condom and put it on my limp noodle
>start pumping whale from behind
>she is so huge
>only my tip is reaching it as her cheeks are in the way

>my limp wiener keeps slipping out as i keep regretting what I’m doing
>noodle starts sliding into her butt
>fat chick is loose in the butt
>doesnt even realise im doing her in the butt as she is so wasted
>eventually i realise im so wasted i can’t get hard
>noodle slides out of her butt
>go to put it back in
>see bit of brown on noodle
>put back in
>pops out again
>she is letting crap out bit by bit
>oh fugg this, this chick gonna let me finish
>tell her to lay on her back
>she agrees, ontop of the feces (not knowing she crapped herself due to being wasted)

>tell her to jerk me off
>she jerks it
>finally climax
>realise we both layed in turds the whole time
>it’s all on my back
>she passed out
>"annnnnooooooon2!!!" i yell out in cry of fear
>he runs in worried about what just happened
>my mate, anon2, sees brown stuff all on my back
>"what have you done" starts laughing hard
>i run around the house looking for the shower
>non single girls see me running with turds dripping down my back
>"WHERES YOUR SHOWER" i yell back
>"get the hell out of here!" she screams as she runs in to see the whale
>manage to find the shower
>wash my self like a kid after catholic church on sundays
>run out the house, quickly looking in the room
>fat chick is passed out on her back feces all over the room
>my mate drives us back home
>smelt like crap all night

Still not sure what that fat girl ate to make me smell like it for the next 3 god damn days 

read another greentext about "last night"


  1. What the fuck

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