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Walk the dinosaur

>Be me
>Kissless virginfag
>Average guy, not fat
>Fapped every other day since i can remember
>Download tinder app
>Match some qt3.14
>Start chatting
>Going alright
>Ask to come over and she agrees
>Wait till parents go out
>She comes over
>Awkward at first but soon settle as i put a film on
>Start kissing

>She says its ok she knows im a virginfag and she likes it
>Starts rubbing my leg
>Sits on top of me still making out
>Unbuttons my shirt
>Kisses my chest
>Boner through the roof
>Take off her top
>Big whopping tatas loving it
>Pulls down my trouser and starts BJ
>Trying not to come
>Pull her head away
>Give it 2 mins
>She is moaning so loud
>No longer thinking about climaxing
>Going as hard as i can white knight
>She is wailing in pleasure
>She is a whale
>Blubber everywhere
>Tells me to stick finger in blowhole
>I do it, so moist
>Harpoon so hard roodypoo cant fine me
>Hear front door open
>Voice outside "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"
>Mom opens door
>Gets on the floor
>Walk the dinosaur

read another trolling 4chan greentext


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My sweet julia...

>be me
>be 21
>test lasers for a living, doing well
>recently broken up with slutbag gf after 2 years
>hell froze over idk
>gave me an excuse to workout and get in great shape
>finish work on friday
>go to dinner at my families sandwich shop in the town we live in
>20 y/o qt 3.14 julia named Julia works the front counter
>after 3 years of being too pussy to make a move and not wanting to make things awkward
>get into conversation with julia and customer about weekend plans
>customer is going to theme park
>Julia turns to me and asks me what im doing for the weekend
>spaghetti falls out of pockets
>bush did harambe
>finally after 15 seconds tell her that im gonna be hanging out at home
>julia says "come to my beach house tomorrow, ill be there with some of my family"
>had to play it cool
>prego sauce dripping from pockets already
>being alpha af say that ill come but only if its a good time
>julia smiles and promises it wi…

4chan sex

Last weekend I shamed myself /b/

This is the most shameful thing I have done

>be 22
>girl on dating website tells me she is having a party
>invites me and tells me to bring a friend
>says her friends are willing and most likely we will get laid
>call my mate (lets name him anon2)
>tell him about the girl from the dating website
>tell him she pretty much garanteed us sex
>anon2: "bout time this happens"
>rock up to party at 9 with my mate
>3 girls and 1 random guy on dining table drinking

F*cking cheaters

>be me
>16 year old 7/10
> just got out of relationship
>5/10 friend is flirting with me
>friends ex gf
>he's over her now
>flirting a bit more
>w/e we've been friends for years prolly means nothing
>hang out with her
>she gets handsy much more than usual
>decide fuck it its worth a shot
>kiss her in private
>IMMEDIATELY kisses back
>start going hard, grabbing tits, ass, rubbing through pants
>pull down her pants and puts it in
>fucks the ever living shit out of her
>makes me pinky swear I won't tell anyone
> wat? are we 5
>fine whatever
>pinky swear
>find out she was dating someone at the time
>ask her about it
>says they only date on Fridays

How do I react to this /b/ros?