Skip to main content

Walk the dinosaur

>Be me
>Kissless virginfag
>Average guy, not fat
>Fapped every other day since i can remember
>Download tinder app
>Match some qt3.14
>Start chatting
>Going alright
>Ask to come over and she agrees
>Wait till parents go out
>She comes over
>Awkward at first but soon settle as i put a film on
>Start kissing

>She says its ok she knows im a virginfag and she likes it
>Starts rubbing my leg
>Sits on top of me still making out
>Unbuttons my shirt
>Kisses my chest
>Boner through the roof
>Take off her top
>Big whopping tatas loving it
>Pulls down my trouser and starts BJ
>Trying not to come
>Pull her head away
>Give it 2 mins
>She is moaning so loud
>No longer thinking about climaxing
>Going as hard as i can white knight
>She is wailing in pleasure
>She is a whale
>Blubber everywhere
>Tells me to stick finger in blowhole
>I do it, so moist
>Harpoon so hard roodypoo cant fine me
>Hear front door open
>Voice outside "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"
>Mom opens door
>Gets on the floor
>Walk the dinosaur

read another trolling 4chan greentext


Popular posts from this blog

4chan sex

Last weekend I shamed myself /b/

This is the most shameful thing I have done

>be 22
>girl on dating website tells me she is having a party
>invites me and tells me to bring a friend
>says her friends are willing and most likely we will get laid
>call my mate (lets name him anon2)
>tell him about the girl from the dating website
>tell him she pretty much garanteed us sex
>anon2: "bout time this happens"
>rock up to party at 9 with my mate
>3 girls and 1 random guy on dining table drinking

My sweet julia...

>be me
>be 21
>test lasers for a living, doing well
>recently broken up with slutbag gf after 2 years
>hell froze over idk
>gave me an excuse to workout and get in great shape
>finish work on friday
>go to dinner at my families sandwich shop in the town we live in
>20 y/o qt 3.14 julia named Julia works the front counter
>after 3 years of being too pussy to make a move and not wanting to make things awkward
>get into conversation with julia and customer about weekend plans
>customer is going to theme park
>Julia turns to me and asks me what im doing for the weekend
>spaghetti falls out of pockets
>bush did harambe
>finally after 15 seconds tell her that im gonna be hanging out at home
>julia says "come to my beach house tomorrow, ill be there with some of my family"
>had to play it cool
>prego sauce dripping from pockets already
>being alpha af say that ill come but only if its a good time
>julia smiles and promises it wi…

You can lead a horse to water

Crazy shit that happened when you were a kid thread
>be me about 16
>friend is 17, we hang out at his grandpas farm during summers
>fish, ride bikes/quads, etc. good times
>except for this one kid who would come by, he was like 15
>not full potato, but a complete fucktard all the same, super annoying, you know the type
>friends grandpa has 5 horses, breeds them
>there is a very young mare in the barn, still nursing
>a demonic idea occurs to my friend and I...
>'Hey fucktard, theres this thing you should try man its so fun!'
>'the young pony is still nursing, as long as the mare is away you can put your dick in its mouth and it will give you the best bj ever trying to suck the milk out'
>he is dumb but not that dumb, tells us theres no way he is doing that
>Friend and I didnt actually do this mind you, we just wanted to see if we could make annoying fucktard do it/see what would happen
>later... a blood curdling scream comes from the barn, I sh…