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Imitating the Skeletor myah won’t get you laid

Story of why you shouldn't get drunk kids
>Meet 4/10 girl with pretty bad acne but dat qt blonde hair
>Smoke opium, hookah with her a few times
>She seems pretty chill
>Still not attractive enough to stick it in though
>Get to a week later
>Drink too much, get autismo drunk
>She says hi, I just walk over and start grinding on her and grabbing her butt
>She rolls with it
>We dance for a while and I'm standing there staring at the ceiling and flailing my arms like a retard because I'm too drunk to dance
>She picks up on it, asks me back to her room
>Mentally re-adjust standards, decide this is alright
>Get back to her room

>She just wants to talk about feelings and stuff
>This isn't what I signed up for
>Stand up, whip peenus out and imitate Skeletor "myah" because I think it will woo her
>Plan fails, she's like what the hell
>I put member back in, turn beta after unsuccessful attempt to assert alpha status
>I get pissed for some reason, pick up her lamp and take it with me
>She's like what the hell, that's my lamp, I'm like it isn't anymore
>Smash lamp on her front door and run away
>See her around for a year and a half until she drops out


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My sweet julia...

>be me
>be 21
>test lasers for a living, doing well
>recently broken up with slutbag gf after 2 years
>hell froze over idk
>gave me an excuse to workout and get in great shape
>finish work on friday
>go to dinner at my families sandwich shop in the town we live in
>20 y/o qt 3.14 julia named Julia works the front counter
>after 3 years of being too pussy to make a move and not wanting to make things awkward
>get into conversation with julia and customer about weekend plans
>customer is going to theme park
>Julia turns to me and asks me what im doing for the weekend
>spaghetti falls out of pockets
>bush did harambe
>finally after 15 seconds tell her that im gonna be hanging out at home
>julia says "come to my beach house tomorrow, ill be there with some of my family"
>had to play it cool
>prego sauce dripping from pockets already
>being alpha af say that ill come but only if its a good time
>julia smiles and promises it wi…

4chan sex

Last weekend I shamed myself /b/

This is the most shameful thing I have done

>be 22
>girl on dating website tells me she is having a party
>invites me and tells me to bring a friend
>says her friends are willing and most likely we will get laid
>call my mate (lets name him anon2)
>tell him about the girl from the dating website
>tell him she pretty much garanteed us sex
>anon2: "bout time this happens"
>rock up to party at 9 with my mate
>3 girls and 1 random guy on dining table drinking

F*cking cheaters

>be me
>16 year old 7/10
> just got out of relationship
>5/10 friend is flirting with me
>friends ex gf
>he's over her now
>flirting a bit more
>w/e we've been friends for years prolly means nothing
>hang out with her
>she gets handsy much more than usual
>decide fuck it its worth a shot
>kiss her in private
>IMMEDIATELY kisses back
>start going hard, grabbing tits, ass, rubbing through pants
>pull down her pants and puts it in
>fucks the ever living shit out of her
>makes me pinky swear I won't tell anyone
> wat? are we 5
>fine whatever
>pinky swear
>find out she was dating someone at the time
>ask her about it
>says they only date on Fridays

How do I react to this /b/ros?