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Imitating the Skeletor myah won’t get you laid

Story of why you shouldn't get drunk kids
>Meet 4/10 girl with pretty bad acne but dat qt blonde hair
>Smoke opium, hookah with her a few times
>She seems pretty chill
>Still not attractive enough to stick it in though
>Get to a week later
>Drink too much, get autismo drunk
>She says hi, I just walk over and start grinding on her and grabbing her butt
>She rolls with it
>We dance for a while and I'm standing there staring at the ceiling and flailing my arms like a retard because I'm too drunk to dance
>She picks up on it, asks me back to her room
>Mentally re-adjust standards, decide this is alright
>Get back to her room

>She just wants to talk about feelings and stuff
>This isn't what I signed up for
>Stand up, whip peenus out and imitate Skeletor "myah" because I think it will woo her
>Plan fails, she's like what the hell
>I put member back in, turn beta after unsuccessful attempt to assert alpha status
>I get pissed for some reason, pick up her lamp and take it with me
>She's like what the hell, that's my lamp, I'm like it isn't anymore
>Smash lamp on her front door and run away
>See her around for a year and a half until she drops out


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>be me
>be 21
>test lasers for a living, doing well
>recently broken up with slutbag gf after 2 years
>hell froze over idk
>gave me an excuse to workout and get in great shape
>finish work on friday
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You can lead a horse to water

Crazy shit that happened when you were a kid thread
>be me about 16
>friend is 17, we hang out at his grandpas farm during summers
>fish, ride bikes/quads, etc. good times
>except for this one kid who would come by, he was like 15
>not full potato, but a complete fucktard all the same, super annoying, you know the type
>friends grandpa has 5 horses, breeds them
>there is a very young mare in the barn, still nursing
>a demonic idea occurs to my friend and I...
>'Hey fucktard, theres this thing you should try man its so fun!'
>'the young pony is still nursing, as long as the mare is away you can put your dick in its mouth and it will give you the best bj ever trying to suck the milk out'
>he is dumb but not that dumb, tells us theres no way he is doing that
>Friend and I didnt actually do this mind you, we just wanted to see if we could make annoying fucktard do it/see what would happen
>later... a blood curdling scream comes from the barn, I sh…