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Showing posts from December, 2013

Alpha dad story

>5 years old
>Playing alone in my room because dad is clearly pissed about something
>Can hear him banging and throwing stuff in the kitchen
>Suddenly he busts my door open and yells "Anon, go get in the car."
>"But dad I'm playi-"
>"ANON I SAID GET IN THE CAR."
>Go out to the driveway and get in the car
>Dad gets in the driver's seat and slams the door
>He floors the car in reverse and out of the driveway
>We drive for like 30 minutes, going like 30 over the entire way

Crush’s breath of death

>be in 11th grade
>used to sit next to solid 8/10 in history
>she kept saying stuff like
>"i listened to a dirty song, wanna hear it?"
>"we should chill after this"
>"you look like you smoke weed"
>"i had a dream about you"

Job stories - Misogynistic broken world

>be 4 years ago when I was 16
>Had been with boyfriend for over 3 years
>Worked at an Italian restaurant
>Manager always sexually harassed me but I needed the money
>One day talking with one of my colleagues how I will be celebrating my 3 year anniversary with my boyfriend in a months time and that I will need to use one of my holidays to book a Friday off work
>Manager overhears and makes some comment about how I am too young to have a boyfriend

Shrek’s game

>Go to local Gamestop
>Parks my car, confident, launch date for Crysis 3
>Get inside the store, asks for the damn game
>"Uhh, sure thing mate. Wouldn't you like something else, too?"
>My eyes widen

DayZ stories – Taking no hostages

>be me looting military barracks
>hear 2 voices demanding i exit the building with my hands up
>Don't feel like risking surrender
>run out the building, start getting peppered with bullets, have to make a last second decision
>stop dead and raise my hands to surrender, they come over to tie my hands up with rope

Caught stories – Teabagging step mother

rady for some teabagging stories? here's mine:
> be me
> see step mom asleep on couch, on her back against the head rest
> she is facing away from me so I decide to get risky
> strip and start fapping behind her in the living room very slowly so as not to wake her

Collab - Ahh the little things

>taking a nice dump, then not feeling your legs because you were there for 45 minutes
>warm under the covers in the morning
>picking a scab
>that feel when you peel off something that got stuck to your finger nail (tape, those fruit stickers, etc..)
>when the dentist sprays water all over your teeth after he's done scraping

Cheating without getting caught

>Dated a girl in high school who was waaay too jealous and obsessive
>Sitting in German 2 with Maren and Luise
>Luise always tells me that I smell really good and smells me. Literally just leans over, puts her head to my chest and breathes in deeply. It's cool, I do smell good.
>One day I go to the bathroom  >Leave phone on desk

Dong grab before Christmas

>be me
>Go to dollar tree to get 2/$1 xmas cards because nobody gives a damn but what's inside them
>Waiting in line with other losers
>Blonde cashier hot
>Like why the hell is she working there?
>Imagine her body without clothes

How to disassemble an iPhone the fast way

> Be me 2 years ago in bad convenience store job if anyone’s interested
> be "facing up an aisle" (basically pulling all the stuff on the shelves to the front to make it full)
> loud brats (15 odd) running around with their iPhones out.
> finish facing up aisle and step into main section of shop
> see girl trip over basket another customer left on the floor behind them

Escort’s stories – the brony

>meet up with total brony autist
>paid me to put on a schoolgirl outfit, a purple wig with pink streaks, a unicorn horn headband, and purple wings.
>cuddles me and tells me how he loves me
>pulls up my skirt and starts poking his little one at my butt

Everyone wants to beat up that bearded German guy

>be 19
>go to party at fire pit in the woods >really dark out >speaking in German accent all night for no reason >am really drunk >have full beard I’ve been working on for about 4 months

A cop saw me without clothes

>at home fapping in living room
>roommate smoking weed in the back room >didn’t even know too enthralled in tits >headphones on but not too loud >knock on door >my house, my time I’m gonna finish before I answer

My first gunfight in Oakland

>Be on business and have a meeting in Oakland.
>Drive up the day before, and figure I'll just mosey around the day before
>Get my hotel room and get settled.
have a glock 19 I carry with me when i go to a city I don't know.
>Go out for dinner and have a weird feeling I should take my firearm.